chani:

poorsuzy:

“Until I started taking my antidepressants, though, I didn’t actually know that I was depressed. I thought the dark staticky corners were part of who I was. It was the same way I felt before I put on my first pair of glasses at age 14 and suddenly realized that trees weren’t green blobs but intricate filigrees of thousands of individual leaves; I hadn’t known, before, that I couldn’t see the leaves, because I didn’t realize that seeing leaves was a possibility at all. And it wasn’t until I started using tools to counterbalance my depression that I even realized there was depression there to need counterbalancing. I had no idea that not everyone felt the gravitational pull of nothingness, the ongoing, slow-as-molasses feeling of melting down into a lump of clay. I had no way of knowing that what I thought were just my ingrained bad habits — not being able to deposit checks on time, not replying to totally pleasant emails for long enough that friendships were ruined, having silent meltdowns over getting dressed in the morning, even not going to the bathroom despite really, really, really having to pee — weren’t actually my habits at all. They were the habits of depression, which whoa, holy shit, it turns out I had a raging case of.”

—

Not Everyone Feels This Way — The Archipelago — Medium (via brutereason)

But if your brain is telling you anything contrary to the fact that you are good, capable, and in control, and that the world contains paths to happiness which you — yes you, shitty unworthy fraudulent lazy waste-of-space you — are qualified to walk down, then you should consider the possibility that you are fighting malware and you don’t even know it.

I really needed to read this today. 

(via perfectlywhelmed)

I would love to know how much of this is Me and how much is an anxiety disorder